I'm drafting an Elevator Pitch to send along to Angel Investors... but I'm new to this and even after having read a ton of websites on how to do it, I'm still not sure since they all give slightly different information.
I'm posting up the draft here in the hopes I can get suggestions on how to improve it.
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Hello, My name is John Smith. My company is a driving and traffic school seeking to expand into the online market, nationwide.
We seed to provide state required drivers education and traffic violators school, Online
Our customer base are Teens getting their license, adult drivers getting their first license or those wanting to brush-up on skills and all drivers ordered by the courts to attend traffic violators school.
Having spent a combined total of 18 years in the driving and traffic school industry we have listened to our students describe about the lack of affordable, quality online drivers education and traffic school. Our Online driving and traffic school will be designed based on this feedback, using their suggestions and our experience to create a stress free, mobile-friendly class anywhere they go.
It will be affordable, with a savings of up to 60% over our primary competition. Our products and services are Required by Law, making this a unique business with a very motivated market.
Projected Company Value (Year 5) $62,527,873
I'd like to schedule a time to talk more about our vision, send you our business plan, explore possible investment and how we may be able to work together.
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Suggestions? (please be gentle, I'm new at this)
I'm posting up the draft here in the hopes I can get suggestions on how to improve it.
----------------------------
Hello, My name is John Smith. My company is a driving and traffic school seeking to expand into the online market, nationwide.
We seed to provide state required drivers education and traffic violators school, Online
Our customer base are Teens getting their license, adult drivers getting their first license or those wanting to brush-up on skills and all drivers ordered by the courts to attend traffic violators school.
Having spent a combined total of 18 years in the driving and traffic school industry we have listened to our students describe about the lack of affordable, quality online drivers education and traffic school. Our Online driving and traffic school will be designed based on this feedback, using their suggestions and our experience to create a stress free, mobile-friendly class anywhere they go.
It will be affordable, with a savings of up to 60% over our primary competition. Our products and services are Required by Law, making this a unique business with a very motivated market.
Projected Company Value (Year 5) $62,527,873
I'd like to schedule a time to talk more about our vision, send you our business plan, explore possible investment and how we may be able to work together.
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Suggestions? (please be gentle, I'm new at this)
via Small-Business-Forum.net http://www.small-business-forum.net/financing-your-small-business/10574-help-written-elevator-pitch-angel-investors.html
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